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The Silence Around Grief
Grief invites us to reflect deeply, but it does not always give us the words to express what lives within our hearts. I hope my story resonates with those feeling similar silence or numbness, reminding us we're not alone in this journey. or grieving parents, hearing our child’s name is often a gift. It tells us that others still see the person we continue to love. Kevin’s death did not erase the thirty-three years he lived on this earth. It did not erase his kindness, creativ
Chano Itwaru
4 days ago4 min read


Depression: The Silent Battle Behind the Smile
Kevin at a show, 2018 In Honor of Mental Health Awareness Month Mental illness is not something you can plan for. It doesn't offer warnings or wait for the "right" moment to arrive. It simply becomes part of your life, sometimes gradually, other times suddenly. I have learned this not from a textbook or a research study, but by loving my son Kevin and walking beside him through a twelve-year battle with clinical depression. When Kevin attempted suicide in 2008 and was diagnos
Chano Itwaru
May 293 min read


Grief Is Not All Or Nothing
Have you ever felt a wave of frustration when someone has hurt or offended you? In those moments, even when laughter unexpectedly breaks through your sorrow, it can be hard to fully embrace joy. It’s natural to want to stay in that space of feeling wronged or upset. Grief can mirror this complex emotional landscape. We often think grief means being consumed by sadness every moment of every day. If we truly loved deeply, then sorrow should permanently overshadow joy. But grief
Chano Itwaru
May 225 min read


Knowing Grief and Living Grief: How Pain Transforms Us
I began to understand why those who have experienced profound loss often communicate differently. There is an unspoken recognition between individuals who have endured similar grief—a quiet understanding that some forms of suffering permanently alter how you navigate the world. Great love and great suffering are intertwined because both can open our hearts wide. Sometimes, it is through those very cracks that compassion, faith, wisdom, and light can enter.
Chano Itwaru
May 135 min read


Where Grief and Resilience Meet: Reflections from Vietnam
The suffering is real, the scars are visible, and the weight of loss lingers across generations. Yet alongside this sorrow is a powerful determination to continue living, rebuilding, and loving despite what has been lost.
Perhaps what resonates with me most deeply about Vietnam is not only the reminders of humanity's capacity for destruction but also the enduring strength of the human spirit. Even after immense suffering, division, and loss, people continue to find ways to c
Chano Itwaru
May 65 min read


Lessons About Grief and Moving Forward: What Cambodia Taught Me About Living After Trauma
This piece is a deeply personal reflection on grief, resilience, and what it means to keep living after profound loss. Inspired by a long-awaited journey to Cambodia, it explores the emotional and spiritual impact of visiting a country marked by unimaginable history, including the legacy of the Khmer Rouge regime. What began as a postponed trip due to COVID-19 became something far more meaningful—a journey intertwined with memory, faith, and the loss of a beloved son.
Chano Itwaru
Apr 275 min read


Who Am I Now After Losing My Son?
There is a quiet distance between who I once was and who I am becoming, a space shaped by love, loss, and a deeper awareness I did not carry
Chano Itwaru
Apr 155 min read


When You Share Your Grief… and the World Stays Quiet
Grief is a universal yet deeply personal experience, and it’s crucial to recognize that it cannot be fixed or solved. In a world that often demands quick answers, this reality can feel unsettling. Consequently, many people choose silence, fearing they might say the wrong thing. However, leaning into vulnerability and fostering open conversations can create profound connections and support healing for both the grieving and those who care for them. In everyday moments, I’ve not
Chano Itwaru
Apr 44 min read


Finding Comfort in Suffering: How Faith Brings Hope in Grief
I didn’t truly grasp the complexity of suffering until I lost my beloved son, Kevin. Before his passing, I experienced pain like many others—disappointments, heartaches, and challenging times. Yet the kind of suffering that burrows deep into your soul and reshapes your view of the world was entirely foreign to me. Suffering, in its essence, transcends mere pain. It embodies the profound emotional, mental, or spiritual distress that weighs heavily on our hearts when something
Chano Itwaru
Mar 186 min read


Grief and Insomnia: How Loss and Depression Disrupt Sleep
Sleepness Nights Grief is exhausting. It drains the body, clouds the mind, and settles deep in the bones. Yet even when we are utterly worn out, sleep may still refuse to come. After Kevin died, my husband and I experienced insomnia in ways we had never known before. We were tired all the time. Grief made simple tasks feel heavy. But when night fell, and the house grew quiet, sleep felt impossible. Our bodies were weary, yet our minds remained alert. The silence magnified the
Chano Itwaru
Mar 35 min read


Dichotomy of Past and Present: Walking the Roads of Memory and Grace
Some days, the emptiness feels overwhelming. I trust God, yet I remain human. I grieve. I long for what might have been. I know death does not have the final word and that Jesus conquered the grave, but faith does not erase the ache. It gives me permission to bring my brokenness honestly before God. Scripture reminds me, “See, I am doing a new thing; now it springs up, do you not perceive it?” (Isaiah 43:19). I hold onto that promise, even when I cannot yet see the new thing
Chano Itwaru
Feb 34 min read


Kindness in 2026: Everyone Is Carrying Something Heavy
It feels like everyone is tired right now. Not just physically, but soul-tired—the kind of exhaustion that comes from carrying too much for too long without a safe place to set it down. In 2026, this isn’t the exception; it’s the shared human experience. Grief, anxiety, illness, uncertainty, loneliness—these weights aren’t always visible, but they are felt deeply.
Chano Itwaru
Jan 65 min read
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