Kevin (SitarHero)’s Journey
Kevin, at 3 years old
Kevin earned black belt at 12.
Early Years
On a warm June 9, 1986, our lives changed forever with the arrival of our beloved son, Kevin. His gentle nature and kind spirit filled our home with joy and love. However, February 28, 2020, remains a heavy chapter in our story, a day of profound sorrow that will permanently be etched in our memories. That loss not only reshaped our hearts but also transformed the very fabric of our lives, leaving an enduring wound that his sister, dad, and I carry.
Kevin developed a deep passion for music and education from a young age, surprising everyone when he learned to read at just four years old. His adventurous spirit encourages him to embrace challenges and push himself beyond limits. By the age of 12, his hard work and determination paid off. He earned a first-degree black belt in karate, mastered the discipline with skill and focus, and obtained a lifeguard certificate, demonstrating his commitment to safety and responsibility. As he began college, Kevin eagerly pursued various subjects and activities that excited him.
Painted by Kevin
Diagnosis with Clinical Depression
Beneath his vibrant exterior, he wrestled with silent battles. Hidden from his family, he faced mental health issues, feeling isolated in his pain while maintaining the facade of a dedicated student. However, it came to light when he was 21, following a suicide attempt—a desperate cry for help—just three months before college graduation, and he was diagnosed with clinical depression.
While at home, he committed himself to his treatments, surrounded by the loving support of family members who rallied around him. I felt a deep sense of pride when he returned to college, navigated the challenges of academic life, earned his degree in biomedical engineering, and secured a job in the field. Witnessing my adult son grapple with the debilitating effects of depression and mental illness was both stressful and overwhelming; however, I held on to a glimmer of hope, believing that he was utilizing every resource available on his journey to recovery.
Kevin's playing his trumpet at a concert
with his band- Nonstop to Cairo.
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Handcrafted by Kevin for his sister.
Music and Art as Therapy
Kevin engaged in various activities that brought joy to his life. He practiced hot yoga to cultivate inner peace and balance, while jogging allowed him to connect with nature and stay fit, which is healing and therapeutic. He participated in a triathlon race in the chilly waters of Long Island Sound during the spring with his friend Tommy. Music, however, was his true passion. Whether he was jamming with one of the many bands he joined or creating melodies on his sitar, he poured his emotions into every beat and note of music.
In college, Kevin discovered a profound love for the sitar, an instrument he had never encountered. Intrigued by its rich history and intricate details, he mastered it. His newfound passion for the sitar led him to explore Bollywood songs, a genre of music distinct from jazz, unveiling an exciting world of sound and rhythm. In addition to the sitar, he enjoyed playing the trumpet, flute, shakuhachi (Japanese flute), jambay drum, harmonium, and piano, making music an integral part of his life. Beyond his deep love for music, Kevin's creativity shone through in his artwork and woodworking projects. He often spent hours crafting beautiful pieces from raw materials in his workshop. Upon reflecting, I know my son’s love for music and arts assisted with depression when other treatments were overwhelming.
Stigma of Mental Health
Even surrounded by the unwavering love and support of his family and friends, Kevin endured profound pain and suffering that significantly impacted his mental state. His struggles remained hidden beneath a facade of normalcy, as he projected a joyful personality. During darker moments, he turned to alcohol for relief, using it to numb his anguish. Despite these challenges, Kevin chose to conceal his mental health battles by appearing happy for others, fearing judgment and misunderstanding. The only person he felt comfortable confiding in was Tommy, his childhood best friend, who offered a listening ear and support. The depth of his inner turmoil, pain, and sadness remained a mystery that only God could unravel. Tragically, his mental health and inner demons prevailed, and he left this earthly life too soon.
Kevin’s Story Continues
Kevin's remarkable qualities and personality leave me grappling with the haunting question, "How could such a well-liked and kind person die by suicide?" I know in my heart that my son's death does not define his life. Despite the tragic end, Kevin's (Sitarhero's) passion and love for music will continue to resonate with everyone whose life he touched. His love legacy and story continue with all of us, as love never dies.