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The Silence Around Grief
Grief invites us to reflect deeply, but it does not always give us the words to express what lives within our hearts. I hope my story resonates with those feeling similar silence or numbness, reminding us we're not alone in this journey. or grieving parents, hearing our child’s name is often a gift. It tells us that others still see the person we continue to love. Kevin’s death did not erase the thirty-three years he lived on this earth. It did not erase his kindness, creativ
Chano Itwaru
5 days ago4 min read


Grief Meets Old and New Memories
For almost two weeks, I sat staring at a blank screen. I knew a story was waiting to be written, but the words refused to come. One morning, while out for a walk, the fog lifted. As my feet found their rhythm, so did my thoughts. I realized I wanted to write about Father's Day, June 21, the day we chose to celebrate what would have been Kevin's 40th birthday. Looking back, I understand why it took so long. Some stories are not written by determination alone; they wait until t
Chano Itwaru
Jun 307 min read


Knowing Grief and Living Grief: How Pain Transforms Us
I began to understand why those who have experienced profound loss often communicate differently. There is an unspoken recognition between individuals who have endured similar grief—a quiet understanding that some forms of suffering permanently alter how you navigate the world. Great love and great suffering are intertwined because both can open our hearts wide. Sometimes, it is through those very cracks that compassion, faith, wisdom, and light can enter.
Chano Itwaru
May 135 min read


Lessons About Grief and Moving Forward: What Cambodia Taught Me About Living After Trauma
This piece is a deeply personal reflection on grief, resilience, and what it means to keep living after profound loss. Inspired by a long-awaited journey to Cambodia, it explores the emotional and spiritual impact of visiting a country marked by unimaginable history, including the legacy of the Khmer Rouge regime. What began as a postponed trip due to COVID-19 became something far more meaningful—a journey intertwined with memory, faith, and the loss of a beloved son.
Chano Itwaru
Apr 275 min read


Who Am I Now After Losing My Son?
There is a quiet distance between who I once was and who I am becoming, a space shaped by love, loss, and a deeper awareness I did not carry
Chano Itwaru
Apr 155 min read


When You Share Your Grief… and the World Stays Quiet
Grief is a universal yet deeply personal experience, and it’s crucial to recognize that it cannot be fixed or solved. In a world that often demands quick answers, this reality can feel unsettling. Consequently, many people choose silence, fearing they might say the wrong thing. However, leaning into vulnerability and fostering open conversations can create profound connections and support healing for both the grieving and those who care for them. In everyday moments, I’ve not
Chano Itwaru
Apr 44 min read


The Quiet Courage of Boundaries in Grief
Boundaries help us protect our emotional energy and serve as reminders that it’s okay to prioritize ourselves during this season. They are not about shutting people out but about creating space to breathe, heal, and simply be. My time, emotions, and peace are precious.
And it’s okay to protect them with care.
During grief, certain areas often need boundaries, especially around privacy, time, emotions, and personal belongings. When there has been tension or conflict in any
Chano Itwaru
Mar 256 min read


Finding Comfort in Suffering: How Faith Brings Hope in Grief
I didn’t truly grasp the complexity of suffering until I lost my beloved son, Kevin. Before his passing, I experienced pain like many others—disappointments, heartaches, and challenging times. Yet the kind of suffering that burrows deep into your soul and reshapes your view of the world was entirely foreign to me. Suffering, in its essence, transcends mere pain. It embodies the profound emotional, mental, or spiritual distress that weighs heavily on our hearts when something
Chano Itwaru
Mar 186 min read


Tears, Tools, and Treasure
The hardest part of losing my son is living in the “after.” Suicide divided my life into before and after. I replay our final conversations. I wrestled with guilt. I questioned God. I lived in a fog of disbelief, moving through days that felt heavy and unreal.
Yet what has sustained me is not trying to conquer grief, but learning to walk with it.
I rediscovered faith. His death by suicide still leaves me grappling with how someone so gentle and creative could suffer so deeply
Chano Itwaru
Feb 265 min read


Grief Rearranges you: Reflections on Two Funerals
And in both, God was there — not explaining, not fixing, but holding me and whispering that He remains my refuge and strength, my ever-present help in every season. Psalm 23 comforted me then, and it comforts me still. I now offer that same comfort to my sister-in-law.
When you attend a funeral, remember that you are stepping onto sacred ground. The person in the front row is not only burying someone they love; they are also burying their life. Grief is not always loud. Somet
Chano Itwaru
Feb 195 min read


Nice Isn’t the Same as Kind: Grief Lessons
After my son Kevin died by suicide, I learned that niceness may acknowledge loss, but true kindness stays, remembers, and walks beside those who grieve, offering presence, listening, and unwavering love. Kindness respects that love continues. It allows stories to be told again and again. It knows that remembering is not dwelling, and that speaking a loved one’s name is not reopening a wound. It is honoring a life.
Chano Itwaru
Feb 106 min read


Kindness in 2026: Everyone Is Carrying Something Heavy
It feels like everyone is tired right now. Not just physically, but soul-tired—the kind of exhaustion that comes from carrying too much for too long without a safe place to set it down. In 2026, this isn’t the exception; it’s the shared human experience. Grief, anxiety, illness, uncertainty, loneliness—these weights aren’t always visible, but they are felt deeply.
Chano Itwaru
Jan 65 min read
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