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Depression: The Silent Battle Behind the Smile
Kevin at a show, 2018 In Honor of Mental Health Awareness Month Mental illness is not something you can plan for. It doesn't offer warnings or wait for the "right" moment to arrive. It simply becomes part of your life, sometimes gradually, other times suddenly. I have learned this not from a textbook or a research study, but by loving my son Kevin and walking beside him through a twelve-year battle with clinical depression. When Kevin attempted suicide in 2008 and was diagnos
Chano Itwaru
May 293 min read


Grief Is Not All Or Nothing
Have you ever felt a wave of frustration when someone has hurt or offended you? In those moments, even when laughter unexpectedly breaks through your sorrow, it can be hard to fully embrace joy. It’s natural to want to stay in that space of feeling wronged or upset. Grief can mirror this complex emotional landscape. We often think grief means being consumed by sadness every moment of every day. If we truly loved deeply, then sorrow should permanently overshadow joy. But grief
Chano Itwaru
May 225 min read


Knowing Grief and Living Grief: How Pain Transforms Us
I began to understand why those who have experienced profound loss often communicate differently. There is an unspoken recognition between individuals who have endured similar grief—a quiet understanding that some forms of suffering permanently alter how you navigate the world. Great love and great suffering are intertwined because both can open our hearts wide. Sometimes, it is through those very cracks that compassion, faith, wisdom, and light can enter.
Chano Itwaru
May 135 min read


Lessons About Grief and Moving Forward: What Cambodia Taught Me About Living After Trauma
This piece is a deeply personal reflection on grief, resilience, and what it means to keep living after profound loss. Inspired by a long-awaited journey to Cambodia, it explores the emotional and spiritual impact of visiting a country marked by unimaginable history, including the legacy of the Khmer Rouge regime. What began as a postponed trip due to COVID-19 became something far more meaningful—a journey intertwined with memory, faith, and the loss of a beloved son.
Chano Itwaru
Apr 275 min read


When You Share Your Grief… and the World Stays Quiet
Grief is a universal yet deeply personal experience, and it’s crucial to recognize that it cannot be fixed or solved. In a world that often demands quick answers, this reality can feel unsettling. Consequently, many people choose silence, fearing they might say the wrong thing. However, leaning into vulnerability and fostering open conversations can create profound connections and support healing for both the grieving and those who care for them. In everyday moments, I’ve not
Chano Itwaru
Apr 44 min read


Coping with Brain Fog and Memory Challenges During Grief
Brain Fog and Grief Brain fog can be a significant challenge during grief. When we lose someone we love, the body perceives emotional pain as trauma and instinctively shifts into protective mode. The loss of a loved one affects every area of life, including our physical and emotional well-being. While emotional aspects of grief are often discussed, the physical responses can be just as powerful. According to research, many people experience fatigue, sleep disturbances, and wh
Chano Itwaru
Mar 114 min read


Grief and Insomnia: How Loss and Depression Disrupt Sleep
Sleepness Nights Grief is exhausting. It drains the body, clouds the mind, and settles deep in the bones. Yet even when we are utterly worn out, sleep may still refuse to come. After Kevin died, my husband and I experienced insomnia in ways we had never known before. We were tired all the time. Grief made simple tasks feel heavy. But when night fell, and the house grew quiet, sleep felt impossible. Our bodies were weary, yet our minds remained alert. The silence magnified the
Chano Itwaru
Mar 35 min read
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